You've Gotta Crawl Before You Can Walk

Originally published Aug. 24, 2006 as Lexi-isms: Crawling

Lexi is trying to figure out how to crawl. She keeps working it. And we keep putting things out in front of her to motivate her: books, toys, pacifier, us, etc. And she keeps making an effort. Usually it goes something like this:

Lexi is in a sitting position and sees something or someone she wants.
She leans forward on her hands
She works at tucking her feet under her.
She rocks back and forth.
Sometimes (often) when she does this, she actually makes it to a crawling position, knees poised under her body.
She rocks back and forth some more.
She pancakes.
She throws her feet and arms in the air and flails.
She complains vociferously, expressing her frustration.
(Good, sweetie, you're learning to recognize and verbalize your emotions.)
Sometimes she tries again...and again...and again...with various levels of success. Sometimes not.
Sometimes she pushes herself back into a sitting position. (Pretty cool trick.) When she does this she is typically further away from her goal than when she started. Then she complains at not having what she wants. And she looks at you as if to say, "But look how well I do this. I know it isn't getting me any closer to my goal, but since I did this really cool trick, don't you think you should just hand me what I want?"

And it all gets me laughing and thinking, isn't that how I am with God sometimes? He gives me a glimpse of something that He has for me. I make some tentative moves toward it, but then it gets hard. And I verbalize my emotions about the difficulty in prayer. And then I complain about how hard it is, wallowing in the emotion, instead of taking my energy and putting it into trying to move ahead. Sometimes I even do one of the things I've already mastered, as if to say, "But look how well I do this!"

But God isn't satisfied with my current level of development. He wants me to be fully transformed into the image of Jesus. So what was a big deal when I first learned it, is now the base from which I grow. And growth usually means challenge and requires effort on my part. And I can complain and try to wow Him with my "tricks" and stay stuck where I am; or I can fix my eyes on Jesus and trust my loving Father to help me become all that He wants me to be, all that He knows I can be in and through Him.

Do I think Lexi is absolutely wonderful? Of course! Would I want Lexi to stay at this stage of development? Of course not! She is doing great for a soon-to-be eight month old. I know God loves me unconditionally and that I don't have to earn His love or approval. I also know He wants me to grow up in Jesus, to become mature, to realize every dream He has had for me since He created me in my mother's womb. That requires my trusting Him and moving forward in faith, even when it's hard.

Lexi will be crawling soon. Then it will be walking. She's already trying to stand and go straight to walking, but that's another post...